I am Kasper Kwan from Hong Kong. I was born in Canada, I am studying Electrical Engineering, and I joined the Desteni Research Group on May 2010 when I started the investigation.
Some background before joining Desteni: I moved to Hong Kong in 2006 and around 2008, I began to investigate firstly what I required to do to earn higher marks in tests. The pursuit of tests, became the pursuit of a better way of living, became spirituality = meditation, love and light I was an imbecile.
I was nearing the end of the feeling that propelled me to begin searching when I encountered Desteni on YouTube. I was immediately attracted to the way points were presented through the spoken word by this female.
Like seeing a person I admire/like because of a quality of their participation, I investigated who this girl was. For my purpose, this girl being a channel was irrelevant. I saw more value in hearing the message and value of the words, about the topics being shared about desire for example, than who was speaking/if John Lennon was actually speaking through this girl.
Repeatedly, self forgiveness and self honesty was suggested, with one specific application to explore what these two words mean: I have to write about my experience. In 2009, on the suggestion of a self improvement book, I wrote intermittently in a journal, on the recommendation of the usefulness of writing a journal for self improvement. So on the second suggestion, this time by Desteni, I made the decision to write self forgiveness statements, my first written evidence was just one self forgiveness statement for one event; the more I wrote, the more I realised that my day did not equal one event, I had many events to choose from, and many events I was interested in writing about.
When I was suggested to write – the Desteni tools of self forgiveness, self honesty, self corrective application – I examined the proposal. It sounded like a mantra you repeat, self forgiveness, but by this stage I was so fed up with doing something with no desired result in reality, that I tried it anyway, giving full attention to detail as I did with the previous cycle. I gave full application to meditation, reading spiritual articles and books attempting to do what was told, I should give an equal chance to writing sentences to forgive myself. I wasn’t so skeptical about the other methods I tried and received virtually no support whatsoever: thousands of hours of listening to audiobooks, reading books about life improvement and spirituality. Forgiveness was something I heard about, but I never equated forgiveness with an actual activity that I can do with one decision, just green light myself and away I can go write to forgive myself.
When I wrote the journal, I saw it as a point to practice my writing because I was not the person that wrote stories, I avoided writing essays and long pieces.
Please note that I was reading the articles and watching the interviews with absolute curiosity about what this message was. I was reading articles like “I’m not comming on a cloud” by Jesus, transfixed by the words. The words were purifying, they were even better than a story about fiction because they were talking about points like searching for myself, explaining what I was already doing. I was curious about how without meeting me once, these words could describe what I was doing, and why I couldn’t explain the same thing to myself: why couldn’t I write the same thing about myself, this article knows me better than me. How can this happen, do I know anything of myself, am I really aware of who I am? How can I be when this article written in 2007 describe a struggle I couldn’t put into words, that I had to read to recognize that within myself.